Persuade me or prove to me that I am mistaken in thought or deed, and I will gladly change—for it is the truth I seek, and the truth never harmed anyone. Harm comes from persisting in error and clinging to ignorance. - Marcus Aurelius
1. Don't lie
People get a gut reaction to lies. It's not always obvious what the lie is, but often they can tell that that something isn't quite right.
If you hope to hold a lasting relationship with people, don't lie.
2. Stop trying to get people to like you
Be yourself, if everyone doesn't like you, that's OK. Do you want them to like you or a lie you've fabricated, pretending to be you?
3. Be a freak
Be proud of the odd qualities you have. This shows honesty and courage, two qualities everyone respects.
4. Awareness
Become aware of how your actions are seen by others. How did they react when you did X? By becoming more aware of what others like and dislike we can prevent trouble long before others are aware that it's leading there. We can also create more happiness and as a result be more well liked by everyone.
5. Journal
Writing down will help you flesh out your thoughts and calm your mind.
6. Role models
Collect role models and study them. What made them great? How did they get there?
How do they speak? What's their body language like? What words do they use?
Charisma on Command is a great Youtube channel that does just this.
7. Confidence
Even when wrong, people will pick whoever sounds more confident.
Develop habits that project confidence.
8. Stop using weak language
Don't use language that makes your statements weaker...
Maybe
Probably
Sort of
I think
I could be wrong
I feel like...
This might be a stupid idea, but...
Powerful language makes you more confident. Weak language makes you weaker.
'people don't need reminding that you're intending to be honest ; they don't need to be told that it's you who's saying something ; and they certainly understand that it's your opinion that's being expressed. Who else's opinion would it be?'
9. Storytelling
Stories have the power to inspire loyalty, to take us out of the present moment and let us consider ideas from a fresh perspective, and to make us understand things in an emotional level.
Once immersed in a story you're much more likely to let your guard down and be more willing to change your mind.
10. Say no
No-one trusts a yes-man, why should they? If you always agree with everything you project weakness, whereas if you're able to say no when it's needed you project that you are in control and worth listening to.
A good rule of thumb is 'If it's not hell yeah, it's no.' If you're not really excited to do something, don't do it. You're times to precious to waste.
11. Never Let Your Relationships Drop To Zero
The person who only talks to you when they want something isn't persuasive, but we'd happily help those that are always there for us. You never know when you'd need someone so always try to check up and keep that flame alive. Aim to touch base with an old friend this week.
12. Skin In The Game
if you have something to lose by lying/being dishonest then people will trust you more. If all the risk is on their side you'll be far less persuasive. The long term relationship should be seen as more important than the short term gain.
Final Thoughts
Would you like more takeaways from this book?
What one surprised you the most?
How will you implement them in your life?
