The Bridge
The night is dark, the air is calm and all is at peace, apart from the abyss underneath the bridge. As Jesus walks towards the entrance, with his longsword in hand, the internal music playing in his head gets faster and more erratic, the pish sented smog gets thicker and the chaotic and haunting howls from the Bums get louder and more menacing with each step. Despite this, Jesus presses forward, calm, fire burning in his heart, determined to do whatever it takes - to save Christmas.
Metal bins, full of rubbish burn, keeping the Bums warm for the night. Creating a smog so thick, the bridge up above disappeared. The fires light the smog, just bright enough to trace the pathway from one side of the bridge to the other. At the left and right of this pathway tents and homemade shelters (*Or to be more accurate home-less made shelters. Hahaha! I'm hilarious.) and the Bums sitting on whatever bit of rubbish they could get their hands on.
As he walked closer flickers of light revealed the Bums faces, 100%, grad A muslims, all of them (*At least according to our hero, Jesus.) The calm, Stoic expression that once graced Jesus's face suddenly changes to one of psychotic chaos. His pupils dilate until his eyes turn black and in a single blink that blackness turns to red. Foam starts to gush out his mouth. Jesus laughs hysterically, drawing all eyes too himself then he runs towards them, sword pointed towards the heavens "AAAggghhh...." He wastes no time and swings his sword erratically, Swoosh! one down. Woosh! and another. Swipe! bye bye Bums. It was over in a heartbeat. Jesus stood triumphant, in a pull of blood, surrounded by bodies, laughing hysterically "Haaaaa haaaaa haaaa!!!"
But his celebration was soon cut short. Out of the smog emerged countless more Bums and they were enraged. They stormed forward towards Jesus. Time slowed to a halt, Jesus's life flashed before his eyes, resulting in a tear running down his face. He wiped away the tear and life returned to lightning speed once more. "Look!" Jesus said pointing behind the Bums "a distraction!" The Bums all stopped and turned round looking everywhere for this 'distraction' Jesus took this opportunity to escape and ran into the smog. *We all know this trick wouldn't have worked with normal humans, but these Bums aynt normal. How many times do I need to tell you? Trust me if you ever want to avoid sparring the scum your hard earned pennies, give this trick a go. Works every time.
