Choirboy
A young blond boy with glasses, sits at his desk, hand raised, during a science lesson. The teacher points to the child, sighs and asks "Yes. Francis?" The child stands up "My minister, John Paul, said that DNA is so complex it couldn't possibly just come together by chance. It would be like a tornado sweeping through a dump and somehow merging all the complex parts together, correctly to build a working aeroplane. Hahaha! It's insane. So why are we learning this nonsense?" The whiteboard has an evolution tree displayed on it. ( *The monkeys wolking, slowly turning into a man.) The teacher groans and then replies "Have you listened to anything I've taught in the last month? It was a slow, slow change over billions of years. From cells, to plants, to fish, and eventually, after billions of years, to us." Francis shakes his head, tuts, then begins to laugh menacingly "hahaha! Last week we were monkeys and now we're fish? You haven't got a clue. Hahaha!". The whole class begins laughing along with Francis. "Look I'm a fish" Shouts one of the kids as he falls to the floor and flails around. *Before long half the class was on the floor pretending to be fish. The classroom looked like the Epileptic society at a rave. The teachers blood starts to boil, a vain started to appear on his forehead, bulging, ready to pop. He takes a deep breath in, but before he had a chance to respond...
John Paul kicks the door open. "Francis boy, we need you. Pack up your stuff. You're coming with me." The teacher loses it and snaps. Directing all his built up rage at John Paul "What the hell do you think you're doing? You can't just burst into a classroom and demand a child leaves with you. Are you F***ing insane?" The kid's chuckle as they've never got him to the point of swearing before. John Paul matches his rage and hits back with "Am I insane? You're the one that thinks monkeys can turn into people. " The kids explode in laughter and cheer on John Paul. "If we came from monkeys, why are there still monkeys? What's stoping them from evolving? A moon stone? (* A special stone that helps Pokemon evolve.)" John Paul then spits on the floor "Disgusting!" The teacher stands in front of the desks, blocking Francis from leaving. "Sit back down, now! and you" pointing to John Paul "leave my classroom at once and never return" John Paul starts running towards the teacher "This is a matter of biblical proportions i don't have time for this". Then he swings his leg back and gives the teacher a swift boot to the balls. As the teacher falls to the ground the students (still flailing about like fish) cheer. Francis jumps over the crying teacher and leaves with John Paul.
As they run down the hall John Paul explains the situation to Francis. "Basically Jesus has a hunch that all muslims are evil. I didn't buy it at first, but who am i to doubt our lord and saviour. Anyway, I'm not smart enough to work out what their evil plan is, but you are. Will you help us work out and stop their plan, before it's too late?" Francis looks puzzled "Wait. Jesus spoke to you? The Jesus? Son of god, saviour of mankind? He spoke to you?" John Paul nods his head "Aye boy, keep up. He's waiting in the motor for us now. Hurry up" Francis nods his head in agreement "Of course Sir." And both rush towards the school entrance.
"Not so fast! Stop now before i call the police!" It's the head teacher, blocking the entrance. So close yet so far, John Paul and Francis can't defeat this guy, he's far too big and powerful, even for them. But all hope is not lost as if sent from the almighty God himself the doors swing open, it's Jesus, wielding John Pauls baseball bat. Jesus notices the head teacher blocking the way and swiftly swings the bat straight at his head. Boom! knocking him to the floor. "ha! Not so big now are ya." Jesus says as he gestures the boys towards him. They run out the entrance and straight to the car. Jesus jumps in the drivers seat and turns round to face young Francis "I'm Jesus by the way. Nice to meet ya" Francis is taken aback. He's starstruck. Without thinking he shakes Jesus's hand "Nice to meet you too my lord".
Jesus slowly drives out of the car park. He then takes a sip of his wine, turning back to Francis saying "Don't worry boy." Winks at John Paul and continues "It's water" John Paul and Jesus chuckle whilst Francis is left scared and confused. Is it water? What so funny about that? Once they reach the high street Jesus spots a homeless man on his knees praying on a prayer mat. "That's odd" He thinks. Then he hears the bum sing 'aaaaalllllaaahhh...." At this point Jesus snaps. He slams his foot on the accelerator and speeds away from him, weaving in and out of cars, driving on the streets, past red lights and over roundabouts until, eventually they return to the church. "Jesus Christ! Are you trying to kill us?" Francis screams. Jesus just shakes his head "Oh ye of little faith. Did you really think you were in any danger when I'm at the wheel?" Francis snaps back to reality and scans the scene. Jesus is right no ones harmed. Not even a scratch on the car. "Sorry for doubting you my lord".
* We have nothing to fear as long as we put our faith in he who saves, Jesus Christ.
