The Final Solution
It was December 20th. Snow pathed the streets, Christmas lights glistened on all the buildings and the Homeless Bums were now indistinguishable from all the other Muslims in town. The boys knew that at the current rate of conversion they'd be full blown terrorists in no-time. John Paul predicted that they had until New-Year before the inevitable happened. Alll the bums exploding in unison, destroying Glasgow and killing millions. Our boys couldn't let that happen, so they got to work de-converting.
Over the next few days our hero's did all they could to stop the inevitable. They stole their prayer-mats, They protested outside the mosque, they even called them names on the internet, but alas, nothing worked. If anything it only strengthened the homeless bums faith and converted them faster.
There was only one solution left. John Paul grabbed his microphone and took to the streets "You're scum and are all on the path towards eternal damnation" "Jesus loves you..." Jesus shook his head In disgust "...But you must give up your sinful ways and let him come inside you." At this point Jesus smacked his wine bottle over John Paul to big cheers from the crowd.
As the snow fell at the dawn of Christmas Eve Jesus wept on the street. "It's no working. There's more of them everyday. The harder we try, the faster they convert. We're done for. They've won." The exhausted John Paul stands up, walks over to Jesus and slaps him across the face "Never give up! Never give up! Never give up!" Jesus snaps back to reality. "If we fail, Glasgow will be no more, buildings will be destroyed, millions of people will die and terror will run through our great country. We need to win." John Paul pulls Jesus and Francis to their feet and leads them into the church.
John Paul sits the men down and explains to them the final solution. "At the current rate of conversion I predict they'll all explode tonight. We no longer have a choice." Francis knows what this means and bows his head, Jesus is still puzzled "So whit we doing then?" Jesus asks. John Paul replies "I have a solution, but you're not going to like it. Here me out. Lets not forget who they really are - Homeless bums. They're scum. Their lives don't really matter, right? And they're going to explode and die tonight regardless of what we do. So, and this is only a suggestion. Why don't we kill them before their countdown clock reaches zero and..... Boom!? If they're dead, no one will care, In fact they might even thank us for cleaning up the streets. As the science states, they need to be alive to be suicide bombers. Hardly suicide if they're already dead. When they die, they can no longer be triggered to explode and we'll save Christmas. 'Francis wipes his tears, smiles and looks at Jesus. Jesus looks at both of them then nods in agreement' let's kill the Vermin!'
