Popeman - Part 10

Popeman - Part 10


Just as the men are heading out Francis stops them.  He takes a deep breath in and then addresses the men "Hold on, lads! I've got a little surprise for the both of you." He grabs his school bag, tips it over,  unleashing a cascade of clothing onto the ground.  "We need disguises.  Especially with what lies ahead tonight. I crafted these disguises myself, during our investigations.  I hope you enjoy them" He handed out the costumes to the men.

Jesus erupted into laughter, dismissing his outfit with a scoff. "I won't be caught dead wearing that, mate. I'm no bloody p**f." Francis, visibly dismayed, retorted, "At least wear the mask; we can't risk exposing our faces." Jesus shook his head. "Nah.". Francis thinks for a second then hits back with "I'll let you drink the all the holy wine you want". And in the blink of an eye Jesus had his mask on.  *Basically a white version of whatever the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wear on there face.

Meanwhile, John Paul put's on his costume– a white pope hat, Purple mask, white trousers, a magnificent purple cape, and a bold yellow belt. "Nice.  Good job boy" hesmiles, showcasing martial art moves. Huh, hiya, waayyaa! Turning to Francis, he asked, "Where's your costume, boy?"

Vanishing momentarily, Francis reappeared in tight red tights, a black t-shirt, and a matching red tracksuit jacket, topped off with his red eye mask. Laughter erupted from both the men, "Tights? Seriously? You're not... you know...? Are you?" John Paul inquired. An irritated Francis snapped back, "I'm not gay! The only man for me is our lord." Jesus quickly hits back with "I'm no into waynes, sorry kid.  Don't worry I'm sure the pope here wouldn't object, winking at John Paul" John Paul growled , flinging a mug at Jesus's head.  Francis continued his speech "Pretty much every superheroes wears tights. Superman's not a f*g, is he?  Naw didn't think so!"

*It turns out that in newer comics Superman (Or his son) is now in-fact gay.  Well it's an alien going out with a human, so not really gay it's more like a human getting with an animal, but one step further.  Imagine a human shagging a squid and you'll have a rough idea of whats going on.  Anyway back to the story....

Jesus interrupts "Gay or not. (He is.) We've no got the time to argue.  Christmas needs saving."  John Paul nods his head in agreement " Jesus is right. He's definitely gay, who else prances about in their pants, with Pride hhmmm.... for the whole world to see?  Aye thought so.  Anyways it's Christmas Sleighing time.  Grab your weapons and get into the car.  It's time to destroy sum bums" Francis and Jesus look at each other and both reply "Gay!"

Back to blog